Let me jog your memory...

Here we go again then.

After an eventful post-Marathon year, I decided to sign myself up for another really reeeeeally long run in September.

Whatever the reason, it's on.

At the end of last year I had to rest up good and proper, so this is my first foray back into the longer distances. Reasons = twofold. Firstly, I ran the Sure Run to the Beat in London in September and managed to do this:

That's one delightfully messed-up foot, including a squiffy cuboid and a couple of mashed metatarsals thrown in for good measure. It was sore and annoying, and took what felt like forever to heal. 

Secondly, for completely unrelated reasons, I had a small surgery and was written off running, swimming, cycling, lifting [read: no fun, not ever, none, just go forth and eat HobNobs, they said] for "four to six" weeks. So...four weeks then? 

But heal I did and my initial runs after a good 3 months went without incident, aside from gasping for dear life at the top of the Links hill and battling with some excruciatingly tight calves. Let's just say I've got loads of catching up to do. And the calf strain has been a bit of a pain to get rid of for some reason. But we're getting there. Nightmare. 

Since LA, I've run Edinburgh Half Marathon again, this time just for a bit of fun on a Sunday in torrential rain, and came in 17s from my PB. That was a bit annoying too, but at least I was reassured that I could still keep a decent time after very slow paced, long distance training runs for LA. 

Run to the Beat in September was great fun and again I had a fantastic group of people around that day which makes all the difference and is one of the main reasons I love running at events so much. 

The most fun I had at a run this summer though, Color Me RAD in Edinburgh. A great way to engage people with a running event that is ideal for all ages and abilities. I was so excited to see a fitness event that was so much fun and so inclusive. I hope that it is a great starter for people who will come along and see that running can be a great laugh and a great Sunday activity with friends. 

(See, the sun does shine in Scotland)

So after all this resting and a few little tentative forays into double figure mileage again earlier in the year, yes, there's obviously another Marathon on the horizon. Here's a little bit more about what I'm doing, and more importantly why...

Several weeks ago I forked out a reg fee and plotted out my training plan for the Berlin Marathon - but I don't really know why I'm even thinking about the running when I now have ALL THE FUNDRAISING to do. 

...*cue facepalm*...

Having "decided" that I don't do enough fundraising in my day job (woo, Aberlour!), I have opted to raise a whopping £1,000 for Alzheimer's Society, by myself, by running 26.2 long miles around Berlin. So, if I take care of all the running, I'd be so super grateful for your creative thoughts, donations and general support in reaching that fundraising target. 

Initially I wanted to run this marathon for the British Heart Foundation, especially this year as my Dad is facing a shedload of abject horror undergoing a triple heart bypass, aortic valve replacement and having a pacemaker fitted all in the same surgery. To say he's not looking forward to it would be an understatement. I also wanted to run it in memory of my beloved Nan who passed away 9yrs ago this summer and also underwent the same battle against coronary heart disease. 

I lived with my Nan and Grandad until I was 12, and my Nan was my first bff. The epitome of the ultimate bff: we baked, we dressed up, we ate cake. Nan also liked playing bingo. 

Everyone who knew my Nan will tell you how very special she was. So when her big, generous and beautiful heart finally stopped beating in July 2006 it was a massive loss to our tiny family. Thankfully I have many wonderful memories and I am reminded of her every single day. 

But unfortunately the British Heart Foundation spent two weeks ignoring the three emails, three phonecalls, Tweets and comedy Instagram selfies I sent them in a desperate attempt to get SOMEONE from the mahoosive fundraising team to get back to me and say "YES! We'd love you to fundraise a thousand pounds for our wonderful organisation!"

But that never happened. So they received another cranky email which has also been ignored. Just by the by, I find being completely ignored quite RUDE and a bit unnecessary. OH, and I also made a donation alongside my initial request for info, which was also duly ignored and I haven't had a jot of thanks. I pointed that out to them too. Get that on yer complaints return...yeah.

Shoddy. Let's hope their dedication to saving lives has a bit more urgency...

But then I gave the Alzheimer's Society a call and they were LOVELY. Very enthusiastic, welcoming and warm, and they gave me a marathon place right there and then on the spot.

This means I'm not only going to put myself through another round of marathon training...

...but I'm also committed to raising vital funds to support the amazing work of Alzheimer's Society and their partners right across the UK. I've done the miles for a marathon before (see previous blogs), and I'm telling you, it's hard work and takes a lot of sacrifice and will power. And yes, I fundraise for a living, but this is very very different and it's going to be hunners o'work to reach my target. 

I picked Alzheimer's Society because both of my grandfathers suffered with dementia in their later life. My maternal grandfather Ken passed away when I was little, and my Mum endured the long and upsetting process of losing her wonderful Dad countless times towards the end of his life. 

And then there's my grandad Frank, my old pal!! 

Look at hiiiiim, being all brilliant.

We only really noticed Grandad's dementia after my Nan died...they'd functioned so well as they grew older together, and they'd spent all their married life together in the same home. So as frustrated as my Nan used to get with him about his "ignoring her all the time", neither my parents nor I really understood what Grandad was going through until my Nan wasn't around to be the yin to his yang, if you know what I mean.

I am an only child, so is my Mum, so is my Dad, so was my Nan. I have no grandparents left now, I've never had aunties or uncles, no cousins, no nieces and nephews, just me and my folks. We were all with Nan when she passed away, and as I walked along the hospital corridor linking my 91yr old Grandad's arm afterwards, he stopped in his tracks and said to me "So, is she gone?!" - I explained again...yes. "Well, who's going to look after me now?"

It broke my heart to see this quiet, fair and lovely old man panicking, recognising that he needed someone to take care of him but only now having to confront and communicate that to us for the first time. They'd both grown old so gracefully, but in that moment I realised that my Grandad was very scared of being alone.

Needless to say, he wasn't alone - he moved in with my parents and my Mum accompanied him to many doctor's appointments until he finally gained a diagnosis of dementia in 2006. During this time he got up most nights to go looking for my Nan...eventually we started telling him that she had gone nextdoor and had said for him to just go to bed and she'd be back soon. It was gentler than watching him lose her over and over and over again.

But not everyone is as fortunate as to have people around them at this stage in life. 

In addition, caring for someone with dementia as they deteriorate is hard, and it can be very lonely without any wider support. So that's one of the reasons why the Alzheimer's Society is so important to me - more families need the proper guidance, support and recognition to remind everyone affected by dementia that they are not alone. It was a really tough time for my folks.

With this in mind, I'm going to need as much support as I can get from you guys so here I am kindly asking for your help in the shape of sponsorship and joining in with a summer of fun. That doesn't sound too bad, does it? 

I'll be hosting a variety of retro/memory themed activities and events over the summer, including a bbq and some live music - and I'll be encouraging lots of you to "Jog Your Memory" with me in Holyrood Park...all will be revealed!

In honour of my Nan's love for a good old cream cake, I'll also be holding "Nana's Afternoon Cream Tea Party", and calling on all of you who have businesses to buy a patch on my running vest (trust me, marathon runners spend a LOT of time reading the back of other runners' vests), oh, and carting my trusty sponsorship form to the pub on a regular basis. Just the price of a couple of pints will help me on my way - and most of all, you will have my heartfelt thanks and appreciation for your support. I know and understand that we are all asked for sponsorship on an unbearably frequent basis, but I promise I won't ask again - this is the one. This time.

You can sponsor me now, here.

As you can imagine this is a really personal challenge for me, and I hope that you lovely people will be so kind as to dig deep and help a sista out. I'm not adverse to acting as a taxi service on nights out (I am cheaper than CityCabs), I will cook for you, bake for you, I'll take you to COSTCO if you like...you name it, I'll (within reason!) do it for a donation to my sore legs fund 2015. 

That's enough for one evening. Thank you already. I love you. Leave the (majority of the) running to me and I'll try my best to make y'all proud.

For now, I'm sending all my love,
Nikki. xxx

"That was the week that was"...

I don't think I'll ever have a week in my life quite like the week commencing Monday 3rd March 2014.

On the Monday afternoon I secured a title sponsorship deal for Aberlour's corporate fundraising event taking place in September. I was so overwhelmed I was shaking with excitement. I came out of the meeting and went straight into House of Fraser to buy myself a Radley travel thingy that I'd had my eye on for weeks. The spirit of Karen McMurrich lives on, fundraisers...

But, no time to celebrate, for that evening I had to get home and prepare for a presentation and interview the following morning...one which would secure a promotion if it all went well. It did. I got a killer promotion. But again, the wine was going to have to wait.

By the Tuesday evening, my head was lodged so thoroughly up my own ass I didn't know what was going on. I was surprised, excited, tired, inspired, grateful and nervous all at the same time. And this was before I'd even packed for going to LA...the following day.

So yes, I took my lovely man for a birthday dinner at Sushiya (along with Kan Pai, best sushi in Edinburgh) and tried my best to stay awake throughout Monuments Men. It was an entertaining little ditty and it distracted me from all the many butterflies I was experiencing. Meh.

That night, at 3am, I bid Handsome Man farewell and left for Los Angeles on my lonesome.

Needless to say, LA is amazing. Not only was it immediately 25degrees warmer than Scotland is in March, but it was big, new and brimming with incredibly beautiful people. My first port of call was Marmalade Cafe for a kale-tastic lunch so I was happy already. I arrived at my gorgeous apartment and by the Saturday I had been joined by my two best friends who both live on a different continent. I rarely get to see them, so this was an emotional and wonderful treat.

Then we got down to business...to the Race Expo! We piled into Tully's car (affectionately known as "Sugarmama" - and honestly, that baby bounces) on Saturday morning and headed to the Exhibition Centre in Downtown LA. Asics did an amazing job of kitting out the space and the DJ was churning out some tunes to get everyone pumped. It was working, because the atmosphere was just awesome. They had a lot of discounted stock too...ahem...

After buying about $300 worth of running gear (everyone knows it's easier to run when you're wearing a marathon t-shirt, right?) we went to Abbot Kinney in Venice for lunch. This is where the true ridiculousness of LA came to light for me. Obviously I was running a marathon in less than 24hrs time so it was definitely carbs-o'clock. No doubt. But getting carbs in a place like Abbot Kinney is a challenge not to be sniffed at. When I asked for a portion of bread with my spinach salad you'd have thought I'd asked for a human head with my spinach salad. Confusion abounds. But I took what I could get...two tiny pieces of toasted "bread" that had likely never seen wheat in their life. But don't get me wrong; it was all delicious and to be honest I was perfectly happy watching all the beautiful people walk past the window. :) Shame you can't carb load from doing that.

So then I went to Ralph's and bought a box of wholewheat pasta which I promptly cooked and devoured.

And then I set up my gear for race day...

The clocks went forward an hour, just to piss us all off and keep things really interesting, and at 4am my alarm chimed and I kitted myself up for the awesome drive through LA in Sugarmama to the Dodgers Stadium. The Rocky soundtrack was blaring away in full force, and the girls dropped me at the stadium feeling PUMPED UUUPPP. They then went to Target and drove a mobility scooter around the place, stocking up on flourescent card and helium balloons. But that is a story for another day...

Needless to say, the start line was also amazing. What an atmosphere and I was part of it. Sap, sap...yes, I know...

A whopping sixteen minutes after the gun went off, I crossed the startline with some other 25,000 runners, but having said that, the corrals worked really well for feeding runners in to the start line. At this point it wasn't too hot and I was just enjoying the route (perhaps not enjoying some of the very curious smells in Chinatown at 8am, I'll admit) and soaking up the sound of rubber vs tarmac. Now, within the first 3miles we'd encountered four preachers with megaphones - I was nervous about how much of a theme that was going to become, but by Mile 6 they'd made way for some absolutely incredible crowd support that just wouldn't quit, right up to the finish line.

I can't believe I'd never heard the phrase "You got this!" before. It was a bit of a mantra by the time Mile 10 approached.

I'd expected a wall at Mile 22ish...so I was devastated when I had to walk through an aid station at Mile 15. All that hard work in training and I was walking already?! I can't describe that disheartening feeling, knowing I still had 11miles to run and the sun was getting higher in the sky with every step I took. Walking. I mean I'd pick up a run for the most of each mile, but it's the mental punishment that you serve yourself when you walk that is tough to shake. By Westwood and Century City, it was a toasty 28degrees and there was barely a sliver of shade. Breeze? You must be joking. It was hot. I was feeling quite sad and wanted to have done better.

So thank God for my cheering squad at Mile 19! I spotted Maya with balloons and banners and we all jumped around making a variety of shouty/screamy noises, not unlike how I imagine teenagers sound when they get Prom Queen...or whatever. I was pep-talked, hugged, doused in water, blinded by the salt that ran into my eyes with said water, and sent off on my merry way again...but not before a quick photo op:

The Support Crew at Mile "Nineteen for Nikki"...

After that, the miles flew by and I really settled into the race and my slower than usual pace of about 12mins per mile. But I barely cared at this point and I concentrated on just enjoying it all. I got into a routine of walking through the aid stations to refill my water bottle (let me tell you, best thing I ever did was take that with me...nothing worse than needing water and having to wait for an aid station) then as soon as I passed the last water table I picked it back up into a run to the next mile marker, and so on.

Arrowhead had provided water at every mile, and I couldn't fault the nutrition that was available. I took my own gels and tabs, but it was great to see Gatorade, CLIF and Arrowhead all out there along the route to keep runners fuelled up on such a hot day. Those volunteers were all amazing and everyone was so friendly and polite - they did a fantastic job and should be so proud of themselves. We couldn't have done it without those hundreds and hundreds of generous volunteers. 

The last 5miles were a joy and with the finish line in sight I ran as fast as I could (well, it felt like sprinting) and crossed it in a reasonably respectable 5hrs 31mins. A good 40mins slower than I really wanted, but pretty good for a first attempt in SURFACE OF THE SUN style weather. 

I was given a space blanket immediately (Seriously? I was ON. FIRE. by this point. Why?!), and offered bagels (I went with the blueberry one, seemed interesting) along with a range of intriguing salty, cheesy, salty, salty biscuity fish shaped things in bags and loads of bottles of water (THANK YOU AGAIN, ARROWHEAD). My girls were all there waiting for me and then it was "feet up a palm tree" time. NB: waaaaay better than "feet-up-a-wall" or "feet-up-the-side-of-the-fridge" time. 

Alongside the personal achievement I ran to raise some awareness and funds for SA-YES, an international befriending organisation. This is my sponsorship page and tells you a bit more about why. It was great to hear people shouting "SA-YES, YOU GOT THIS!!" along the route, all thanks to my super running vest made by Kustom Clothing. Although I'm short of target with the fundraising, I'm not disappointed or deterred and I'm grateful for the kind support shown to me by friends of SA-YES and Julie in the events team. Here's to your great organisation crossing the finish line of the 2014 LA Marathon - I'm proud I could be the one to carry it those 26.2miles...

Trotting past Whisky a Go-Go

AWFUL finish line shot - thanks for that terrible angle, Marathon-foto!

With my prized bling and Santa Monica Pier in the background. 

What else can I say about the LA Marathon? The route takes in all the LA hitlist including Dodgers Stadium, Hollywood Walk of Fame, Hollywood and Vine, the Hollywood sign, Beverly Hills, Rodeo Drive, House of Blues, WeHo and Santa Monica, finishing with the Pacific Ocean, eyes right. After looking at a lot of international marathons, it's a tough one to top. As I mentioned, the Asics expo was great and the branded running gear on offer was of equal high standards. The volunteers and aid stations were amazing, and the crowd support was unlike anything I've ever, ever experienced before. I'm wondering if I can hire people to cheer me on while I walk to work in the mornings..? I GOT THIS!

I didn't see the post-race village, I was too busy with my feet in the air to get there. But I'm sure it was all sorts of aces.

Crossing the finish line of a marathon is a surreal experience. I never thought I'd be the person to do it, but here we are. And today is the first time I've felt a twinge of the famous post-race come-down. In the space of a week I got a major sponsorship deal, a promotion and I ran a marathon on the other side of the world; that kind of emotional high definitely leaves you susceptible to a pretty major come-down.

People are asking me if I'll run another marathon. I don't know yet. Maybe. But nothing will ever feel like that week felt. Having my best girls around me, cheering me on and having total faith in me, was something I'm not going to forget. I wonder what I can ever do to thank them for being part of the best day in my life so far.

But GO to LA. Seriously. It's good fun...

All my love and thanks to everyone who has listened to my endless running chat, encouraged me when I was tired, comforted me when I was stressed and celebrated with me when I got back home to Edinburgh. It's been the journey of a lifetime and I hope at least one person reading this is inspired to go out and live their dream too. 

If you work hard, it'll come. 

TN. xxx

Anxiety's Greatest Hits...

Anxiety's Greatest Hits are thus. 

Dreaming about:
1) Lateness
2) Public nudity
3) Loss of bearings

They don't have to be in that order, and I'm not quite sure why number two is even a thing (and I can assure you it is), but it would appear that these are my top three favourite things to dream about the week before a marathon. 

I have everything in hand, especially my race day clothing, so I can't really explain why I am feeling so surprised all of a sudden that race day is a mere nine days away. According to my Hal Higdon book this is all natural (although he doesn't specify "naked in public" dreams) but if I'm honest, the anxiety has definitely made way for nervous excitement now. It's been a long and nervous taper.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned that I cannot WAIT to get to LA and run that race. I got an awesome running vest made up by my fabulous friends over at Kustom Clothing and I've been into Run 4 It almost every evening on my walk home from work, just to check that my trainers definitely aren't too worn out for 26.2miles next weekend and to keep my shit together by talking to other people about running. I like to buy a few extra energy gels and the odd pair of socks every time I go in too. It's almost as if that shop is my comfort, my happy place. 

Speaking of happy places, Hal's book presents a whole host of tips from experienced marathoners about how to get through those tough back six miles. Going to your happy place is a classic. But my favourite tip was to dedicate each mile to somebody and during that mile you focus entirely on them, the memories and conversations you've shared, and what impact they've had on your life. I haven't trialled it on any long runs and I'm sure that when my calves are screaming and my hips are about to give out (don't even THINK about making me slow down or change direction in the back 4miles) I'll be lucky if I can think about anything else. Having said that, I absolutely love this idea and I'm going to give it a try. I'm starting to draft my Miles 20-26 tribute schedule and instead of dying as I hit "The Wall", I'll be crashing into my own wall...of fame. All will be revealed post-race...but if you want to make it in to the "Tatty Narja Wall of Fame" get inspiring me asap.

Sponsorship has started, under the radar. Select friends have received the link - avid readers and people who keep finding the little pieces of paper I am leaving around Edinburgh are already on the donation list there. Thank you all so much. Check out my amazeballs branded running vest...and overexcited expression. NB no, it's not printed backwards; that's a mirror, smartarses.

Folk are now asking me if I'm feeling ready. I felt ready after my 21mile run three weeks ago...I'm positively chomping at the bit now. But interestingly since I've been tapering I've stopped bitching about how much I have to run and how tired I am. The past couple of weeks, the past four days in particular, have reignited my passion for running and my overall enjoyment of getting up at an ungodly hour of the day to run a lap of the Meadows before work. 

Maybe that's got something to do with the daylight, but whatever it is I'll take it. 

Anyway. 

Also this week I went to see Dallas Buyers Club with a couple of the girlfriends. What a great, great film. I didn't even recognise Jared Leto at all and his performance was so moving and really captured me - he did an incredible job and it's one of my favourite performances in any film I've ever seen. Ever. The topic isn't one I knew much about at all - emerging AIDS and HIV treatments in the 1980s. Though I was obviously aware of the social stigma surrounding the virus, and sadly not much has changed in many parts of the world. 

One element of the film I found particularly compelling was the personal journey that Matthew McConaughey's character went on. He was a heterosexual man living in a largely homophobic society and because of his diagnosis he was projected into a community predominantly comprising gay men. It was so interesting and enthralling to see his character develop over the course of his illness and I loved every scene of this beautifully shot movie.

Please go and watch it - it deserves to be seen.

Now, please don't think me rude by taking off like this. But it's carb o'clock and I need to do some eating, stat. Nom nom...marathons are worth it just for this. ;)

Tatty loves you. xxx

Yo, shorty...

I saw this video and it made me cry. My legs feel like two buckets of sand and I want to sleep for approximately 15hrs...but I am as determined as I am nodding off... 

And in case you were wondering, this is how running 21 miles makes you feel:

With this in mind, please sponsor my efforts on JustGiving. Thank you.
Love, TN. xx

"I never thought I'd see the day"...

I never thought I'd see the day when a 15mile run felt like I was getting off lightly. But it's arrived before I've had chance to properly process everything. Pardon the following incoherent brain dump...

I have to write this down and get it out: I'm running a Marathon three weeks on Sunday. In LA. Yeah, I'm not doing anything by halves this time around. I haven't wanted to mention anything on my Facebook page until after the race. When I decide to put the link to this blog on Facebook, it will hopefully accompany a photo of my big, cheesing face in front of Santa Monica Pier, holding a finisher's medal. 

But this is the penultimate chapter of my Marathon journey, so let me fill you in on what I've been up to since the new year. 

I've been doing a lot of running. 

You seem disappointed that it's not been more exciting than that...

Whatever, tough. My first 15mile run felt treacherous. Everything hurt, a lot, and I'd really mucked up taking my energy gel (note, singular...should have taken more of them) far too late in to the run. It was hilly, my head wasn't in the game and the isotonic energy gel gave me a stitch that harked back to the days of being a lazy-pants and running to catch the bus. I realised then that I needed to get my shit together. I started trying a variety of gels and working out the right times to take them. Not like it says on the gels "15before, every 45" or anything...(it does).

I got that down to a fine art and then started upping my mileage every week on the long Sunday run. I kept my week day and interval training at the same level to avoid injury, as on the long runs I noticed I was developing pain in my hip not dissimilar to the symptoms of ITBS again. Aaaah, my old friend. But it's much more bearable and easier to stretch out than the knee pain was, and I'm managing it well so far. 

On Sunday past, I ran 21miles, which is surprising considering how exhausted I've started to feel lately. Running on tired legs all the time really takes it out of you and I've started to get impressively stupid in the evenings. By a Friday afternoon at work, I'm struggling to piece a sentence together properly. Anyway the weather on Sunday was shocking - I was facing horizontal sleet, -7 degrees chill factor and 30mph head winds throughout the back 10miles. Edinburgh is also mighty hilly, so tackling a few steep climbs at miles 16, 17 and 20 was also a real test of my resolve. Having said that, I have never felt so proud to have not given up and to have completed a long run without taking any short cuts to get home. The old calves were screaming towards the end, and I was running out of water having necked four Gu gels, but I kept to the plan and I went the whole distance. I just can't believe I ran that far. 

As soon as I got home I whimpered my way into the living room to prop my legs on two freezer blocks. 21 miles does not make you that tough and it was at the end of my longest week of mileage ever.

I think it was only after that long run, with the reality that I'd finally reached the holy grail of "tapering", when it really sank in that I am actually going to run a marathon. Very soon. I am going to run a marathon. (I can't wait until I can say "I ran a marathon".) The more I think about what I'm about to do, the more emotional I get. Just looking at the LA Marathon website makes me well up and I find myself stealing little moments every now and again to consider what I've achieved already. I've changed my lifestyle, made personal sacrifices, remained disciplined even if no-one would know if I had a cheeky bottle of wine on a Tuesday night, not cut any corners and tried hard to take good care of my injury. And I'm still trying my best at work and getting on with the normal household stuff too (I baked a sourdough loaf last night and made a batch of homemade energy bars loaded with hemp seeds and cashew butter). I'm also trying to be a good girlfriend, but poor Neil has become somewhat of a "Sports Widower" of late.

Am I allowed to feel proud of myself? Is that allowed?

Please..?

People keep asking me if I get bored when I'm running, but I really don't. It's hard to get bored of Edinburgh's beauty - I run around Arthur's Seat (yes, up that hill), along Portobello Promenade, through The Hermitage, around the Meadows and along Innocent's Railway to name a few highlights. What's not to love? I have taken to running without music too, because my pace is more regulated and I like being able to hear my breathing and what's going on around me. It's more peaceful and I feel more relaxed, funnily enough. I never thought I'd be able to run without music because I love the stuff so much, but here we are, almost ready for race day and the headphones are relegated to the drawer.  

Another question I get asked is what do I think about. Hmm, lots of things I guess. I tend to just indulge in daydreaming.

And on that note, I'll leave you with some much loved things. 

This week's top tip: Always be honest in your efforts because it's only yourself that you let down otherwise. If you never try, you'll never know; believe in your abilities, and you'll surprise yourself with what you're capable of. 
If you put in enough hard work and you stay true to your efforts, you can achieve some pretty awesome stuff. I am slightly overweight and certainly not built like a natural marathon runner, yet for some reason I can run reasonably happily for upward of 4hrs on a Sunday afternoon. 

A colleague who does no running at all told me this morning "I could go out and run a marathon today. I'm really f**king fit". This entertained me hugely, as well as irking me slightly. I would love to see him try. I would just love it. I'd love it so much. I really, really, really want to take him with me on a 15 miler this weekend just for a laugh. What I'm trying to say is that nothing happens overnight and it's laughable and slightly insulting to belittle a marathon, but with a bit of self-belief and a lot of patience you really can push yourself to do pretty impressive things. 

Top tune: Easy by Son Lux
Do yourself a favour and don't listen to this through crappy laptop speakers. Put your headphones in or better still, get it hooked up to a sub woofer. Then say goodbye to your inner ear for a week. I'm properly excited beyond all imagination about going to see Son Lux and San Fermin while I'm in LA. I think this trip is going to be positively stonking!

This week's reading: The Ascent of Rum Doodle by WM Bowman. 
A Christmas gift from a wonderfully lovely friend who has just swanned off to Oz for 3 weeks to work on a vinyard. Really charming book about a fake mountaineer with a mightily enjoyable foreword by Bill Bryson. It may have to be put to one side for a little while as I work my way through the Tapering chapter of my marathon book...I was trying not to tempt fate when I started training, but now here we are.

Love you for reading this far, thank you. I can't wait to share my finish line joy with you too. And yes, I'll be collecting sponsorship...
xxx 

To just getting on with it...

I'm not so great at this blogging business because I rarely find or take the time to indulge in sitting down with my laptop, blabbering on about what I'm up to. Instead I spent a lot of time over the festive season indulging in things like mince pies and mulled wine, blabbering on about what I'm up to. 

I'm going to do the obvious and highlight a few 2013 things with a view to encouraging others to see every step back as a potential spring board. Things might not have gone as you planned in 2013, but I firmly believe it can serve as a boost into 2014 and the rest of your short or longer term goals.

I have completed two more Half Marathons and a 10k race in 2013, including my first destination run (which is already becoming an expensive hobby). I went to Germany at the beginning of November to run the Teltowkanal Half Marathon, a really small race that was three laps of a beautiful circuit along the huge Teltowkanal in the very southern part of Berlin. Firstly, wow...what a beautiful place to be. 

Challenge number one was information gathering. I speak absolutely no German (not out of being lazy and British, I have to add...I absolutely loved my French and Spanish at school), so the registration process was interesting to begin with. To gather details of the race I looked at all the photos on the website, as one does. How very Sherlock Holmes of me. Everyone was happily trotting away on tarmac, so I trained away on the pavements of Edinburgh and took my eenie weenie road running shoes with me to run the race. 

Challenge number two was navigation, because I have to mention that getting to Teltow was equally interesting. Long story short, we took a tram, the S-Bahn, a bus that never arrived and eventually ended up speeding through the streets of Berlin in a taxi with a driver who didn't speak any English and had only lived in the city for TWO DAYS. None of us knew where we were going or if we were ever going to see another bratwurst again. I've never been so happy to see so many people wearing lycra as when I spotted those runners.

As for the challenge of the race. Oh, it started off so well...

Three laps of a 7km (tarmac?) circuit. No problem, she says.

3.5km in we crossed the road bridge and came back...bottlenecking along a muddy, narrow tow path. What the-? A dirt path scattered with tree roots, stones, mud, cobbles, wooden slats, mud, grass. Did I mention mud? And to top it all off I had to haul my ass up about 10 HEUGE great whacking stone steps to end each circuit and get back up to street level from the canal. Then go round again. Clearly this part had been omitted from the photo gallery. Blaaaaaaah...

It wasn't what I had planned and by the end, my soles felt bruised. But I finished it, because that's just what I do. I have to thank my wonderful friend Bryony and my lovely boyfriend Neil for cheering me on at every lap, because when you're starting to feel like you really don't want to go round again it's such a boost. Needless to say, I was so delighted to cross the finish line and receive my meda-...what, there's no medals?! No medal in this race? What about a certificate? No?! It's ok though, there's bratwurst and mulled wine - the greatest post-race grub imaginab-...what? We're not staying for bratwurst and mulled wine? We're going to a...restaurant? A nice one?! I've just run 13miles in these clothes. I don't need a restaurant, I need a shower and knitwear.

But, God love Berlin, I not only went to a swanky restaurant (and foolishly ordered myself the teeniest, tiniest bowl of bouillon on the menu - linguistic breakdown number 101) but then ran for a bus back into town, missed it, walked a few more miles, eventually caught a bus and went straight to a performance of Faure's Requiem in a church, all while dressed in my hi vis running "geddup" that had seen me round the toughest Half Marathon to date. When I re-tell it it sounds more traumatic than it felt at the time. No-one batted an eyelid at me munching away on my cereal bar and someone else's bottle of water during the Sanctus in Eb Major. 

Not what I had planned, but it was a beautiful, refreshing and uplifting experience to wander around a city completely un-judged...no-one cared what I was wearing, they just cared that I was there. 

I absolutely loved being there. Go to Berlin - it is a humbling, inspiring and welcoming place to be.

And then for the really unplanned part. Just prior to my trip to Germany, we very tragically lost a great friend, our mentor, and perhaps the most inspirational woman I've ever known. Not many people can say that about their boss. Those close to me know that I seeeriously love my work (arguably too much sometimes), and much of that is down to the motivation, encouragement and kindness that was shown to me by our lovely boss Karen. I've never been in a job where I've felt so compelled to bust my ass for anyone like I did for Karen, and I still do now for my team. She had a unique warmth in her encouragement and always recognised and praised our efforts and successes. She knew the secret of making her team go the extra mile for her, every time, and was the most generous person I have ever met. One night over several gins, I sat with Karen and asked her to tell me all about how she got to where she is; I'm so glad I did. I was inspired to the point of complete emotional meltdown. The gin probably had something to do with that.

Karen's death was untimely, very sudden and a huge shock to our close knit team. We are all still grieving the loss but have had great support from friends of our charity and friends of our own. Thank you to everyone who has sent us kind words and made donations to Aberlour in Karen's memory. It has been a really sad time but we are doing ok because we have each other. 

That wasn't what I had planned for 2013, but I'm more motivated now than ever before to realise Karen's vision and achieve all the things she saw I had the potential to achieve. And here ends the blog about life throwing you a multitude of curve balls, but the key is to use them all to an advantage, push yourself harder, and you can do things you didn't think were possible. 

Case in point...

Onto a more positive (musical) note, one record that has taken me through the highs and lows of the past couple of months has been San Fermin's debut album of the same name. Easily my album of the year, it's been a really long time since I've been so enthralled by a collection of songs. I'd go as far to say it's my favourite album since Statues by Moloko, and that was ten (eleven?) years ago and they are one of my favourite bands ever! 

To me, San Fermin is a story book, one that's impossible to put down and makes you use your imagination and your own emotions and memories to evoke a very real reaction. Whether that reaction is to sing out loud and throw your arms up in the air to Sonsick, to shed a tear to Methuselah or to squeeze your eyes closed at the final few seconds of strings in Alltogether Changed (not advisable while driving), it's...well I'm lost for words now about how amazing it is. Just go and buy it and find out for yourself. The more you listen to it from start to finish, the more wonderful it becomes. I've been banging on about this album to anyone who'll listen...but for a very good reason.

So, to end on a running note - I have just started using energy gels and my newest and best friend is the GU Blackcurrant gel with caffeine. That stuff has you seriously focused, my friends. It might even be good for sitting through the new Hobbit film. I've tried lots of energy supplements over the past few weeks (isotonic gels, blocks and bars), and this one's my favourite for the runs longer than 12miles. Porridge 2hrs before setting off, gel 45mins in, happy days. 

Boring, isn't it. 

Yes.

Happy New Year, everyone. 
xxx

Running for my Life...

"How long have you been running?" they ask. 

Well every runner has a running story, a reason, a start line, and I should probably begin with some life-altering, mind blowing intro about how exciting my running story is. But I'll start with an apology instead. I'm sorry it's nothing desperately exciting. 

Three years ago I wouldn't have even run for a bus. But my hatred of running goes further back than that. I hated cross country running day at high school with such intensity that it was not unusual for me to cry the night before. Prior to that, I have a vivid memory of being in primary school (age 10 or 11) and asking a teacher marshalling the cross country run on Sports Day if I was allowed to scream. They said yes. I let out an absolute blood curdler that I don't think anyone was expecting and I'm honestly surprised no-one called the police.

Distance running was absolutely awful. I hated it. 

To further compound my hatred of all things kinetic, in high school we were tortured by "The Beep Test", possibly "The Bleep Test", but either way it was another one of the most degrading and humiliating parts of the entire school year. One sports hall, two lines, fifty pubescent teenagers and a PA system. The "game" is that you have to run from one end of the hall to the other before the cassette plays the beep. The beep gets faster and faster and if you don't make the line before the beep, you're out. 

Now, retrospectively this was stupid for two reasons:
1) The unfit kids clearly need more exercise than the fit kids, but they spend more of the class sat on a bench trying not to vomit on their Adidas poppers and shell toe trainers from over-exertion. 
2) Why would you warm up a room full of kids to then systematically sit them down on a bench feeling like a failure while watching the better kids keep running?

Ok, the second one is a bit of a stretch...but when I look back on the Beep Test it was just a ridiculous way of highlighting who were the fit kids and who were the fat kids. And who were the kids who barely picked up a trot just so they could sit down and watch everyone else bust their ass. 

I digress.

The point is that I hated running. 

Throughout university I chomped my way through copious amounts of panini, student union curly fries and the late-night reduced cheese section at Peckhams which was conveniently close to home. All washed down with a few pints of real ale and a bedtime single malt for good measure. Upon graduating I switched the curly fries for more beer, and lashings of it. 

Needless to say, the weight crept on and I wasn't too chirpy about that. I went on to manage a real ale and whisky bar in Edinburgh, which was great for a while but certainly not what I had planned for myself. I was overworked, hacked off and leading a pretty unhealthy lifestyle, having introduced even more beer and Mini Cheddars to the daily routine. How to get out?

I did the desperately senseless thing and I quit my job. I joined a gym and filled 6 days of my weeks of unemployment with exercise. Full workouts and a swim pretty much every day. My life and my body were changing, and I enjoyed the sense of feeling physically exhausted at the end of a day, yet mentally so alive and enthusiastic. Still, I wouldn't dream of running outdoors though. No, no. That's what those weirdo runners do. I'm not one of those. 

I then got a job in a really lovely cake shop and indulged in decorating biscuits and getting out of bed 30mins before I started work in a morning. It was great as a transition out of shift work and it paid my bills, plus it was great fun. I kept up the exercise and then one evening I got caught in the snow coming out of the gym. It was dark. I was at the bottom of the hill; home was at the top of the hill. I looked to the sky and saw a swirling haze of white snowflakes dancing around above me. 

"I wonder if I can run all the way up the hill without stopping?"

Turns out I could. And I've not stopped running since. 

In 2012 I ran my first Edinburgh Half Marathon, having never run further than 5km before signing up. My fit-pro at the gym, Emma, set me up with an awesome training plan and I stuck to it like glue, being the painfully organised person that I am (it's a blessing and a curse, trust me). I went on to run EMF again in 2013, as mentioned previously.

Last Sunday I ran the Great Scottish Run. The night before the race I was crawling around on the floor in agony with some kind of tummy bug, but there was no way I wasn't running that race. What most (including me on any normal running weekend) would use as an excuse, I used as motivation to push myself even harder. I completed the 10k in 56.16 and made a direct b-line for the train home to my bed afterwards. But I loved it nonetheless.

Today I signed up for the Teltowkanal Halbmarathon in Berlin this November. I can't wait. 

I think this means I'm a runner now? If it does, I couldn't be happier. 
Running taught me self-discipline and routine. It taught me to respect my body and look after it because you only get one go at life. It taught me to set goals and attain them, both in fitness and in the rest of your life. 

I took an opportunity that was on offer to me and it paid off to try my hardest; it lead to the greatest job ever. And honestly, I absolutely love my job. As a corporate fundraiser I get to work with incredibly generous and inspirational people. I work for an amazing charity supporting vulnerable children and young people who have been through some pretty tough times in their short lives, further making me feel incredibly lucky for what I have. Please, never take anything for granted; if your body works, use it. 

Needless to say, I lost some weight while I was at it. Slow and steady wins the race.

Ultimately my ongoing motivation to run is summed up best by this comic strip.

I don't feel like I have much to offer this time apart from one sentiment. If I can do it, if I can change my whole life with running, so can anyone. If you want to achieve something, you can do it. You just have to work hard and take things one step at a time. Currently I'm stepping slowly towards my ultimate running goal...the big 26.2. But each achievement until then will be worth every single second of effort. 

Today's top tip: Take your time. Whether you're on a long run as part of your training, filling in an application for a job, or you're making your first batch of macaroons, just take it easy. It's about the end goal, not how fast and furiously you get there. As Tim Minchin rightly said "If you focus too far ahead you'll miss out on all the stuff that's in your peripheral vision".

The man speaketh the truth. 

This week's reading: Marathon by Hal Higdon
Does what it says on the tin. Best not to ask...

Top tune: Pagan Poetry by Bjork
It almost feels like a cop out to put a Bjork tune in a running blog. But her lyrics and vocals make my heart beat with a painful pounding that reminds me I'm alive. 

...but not like the beep test.

xx